


I Can See It Now

by TokiDokiIchinose



Series: Song AUs [6]
Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: First Love, M/M, Taylor Swift - Freeform, Uncertain Tokiya, Waiter Ren with No Regrets, mine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23923702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TokiDokiIchinose/pseuds/TokiDokiIchinose
Summary: Getting sick of life in the city, Tokiya moves to a small community for a change of scenery. However, he doesn't expect to meet Ren Jinguji, a waiter who turns his life upside down. Can Tokiya let go of the past that haunts him, or can he finally let himself be happy?Short story based off of the song Mine by Taylor Swift
Relationships: Ichinose Tokiya/Jinguuji Ren
Series: Song AUs [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1156781
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Working Part Time Waitin' Tables

Tokiya brushes the bangs out of his eyes as he bends down to place the last cardboard box.

"Is that all of them?" Otoya fans himself as he pushes his back up against the doorframe of the living room that's filled entirely with cardboard boxes.

Tokiya straightens himself and begins counting all of the boxes in front of him. "I believe so..." He grimaces as he glances around. "I'll have to sell the piano."

Otoya looks astounded as he stares at Tokiya. "What? But you can't!"

Tokiya rolls his eyes. "I didn't say I wanted to, but it's not going to fit." His new place is too small to fit one.

Tokiya used to be roommates with Otoya nestled in a corner street in the heart of Tokyo. It was up until two months ago that he brought up his decision to move out to go somewhere quieter. Now, he's the proud owner of a small oceanfront house down in Fukuoka. It was quite the trip, and he had to ship most of his belongings to the new house for convenience's sake. It was quite stressful, but to finally see everything he's worked so hard for pay off felt incredible. He and Otoya had just finished bringing what was left of the boxes from Otoya's car. From what he's counted, there shouldn't be anything of his left at their small apartment.

Tokiya shakes his head, his navy locks heavy with sweat flipping with the motion. "I can't do it, Otoya. Unless you would like it or know someone who will take it, I'm going to have to sell it."

"What if I held it for you at the apartment? You know... in case you ever wanted it again?" Otoya grins at him, and Tokiya can only sigh in response.

"Then I'll leave it with you. You can do as you please with it whatever that may be. If I'm ever able to make room for it and you still have it, then I'll contact you."

Otoya cheers, leaping into the air as he grins ear to ear. "Yay! Then I'll keep it tuned and ready for you whenever you ask!" When he stops jumping, he ends with a salute.

Tokiya rolls his eyes but can't help the shy smile that sets across his own lips. "Thank you, Otoya." If he was being honest with himself, he'd love to have the instrument as it was a gift from a few friends back home when he first moved to Tokyo. He thought it would be horribly difficult to move to the new place when he finally found a roommate, but Otoya was onboard with having the rather large instrument sit in the common room they shared. He was grateful for the gesture Otoya showed but found it to be out of his own selfish desire once he discovered he played the guitar. For the hassle it was, it turned out to produce many fun memories he wouldn't trade.

"If you'd like you could stay the night here. I'm sure the air mattress is somewhere in one of these boxes."

Otoya laughs and waves his arms. "Don't worry about it, Tokiya. I'm staying in a hotel nearby for the night, and then I plan on leaving bright and early tomorrow morning. I wouldn't want to be a hassle on you."

Tokiya nods in understanding. It would be easier for Otoya to just leave as he has a long trip ahead of him. Besides he doesn't want to bother him with having to dig through the many boxes. "Thank you again then. Let me know as soon as you leave tomorrow."

"Will do! Let me know if you want any help unboxing anything."

Tokiya bids him farewell and waits for him to leave the house before staring at the boxes to determine the best way to go about getting rid of them. He had already gone out and bought basic furniture for the place the day after the deal had been closed, but what that entailed was a few bookshelves, a bed frame, a fridge, microwave, and a couch. There's still a lot he knows he needs to buy for the place, but he also knows he can wait. As long as he has the necessities then he doesn't mind giving himself time to be fully settled.

He reaches for one of the closest boxes to where he is standing and decides to give himself an hour or two to set up starting with the bedroom. They've been on the road all day, and he was rather tired and hungry. City exploring could be done tomorrow. For now, he had to focus on priorities.

Reaching for the box cutter, he rips open the box and gets straight to work. He didn't even realize how much he brought with him from the apartment he used to live in with Otoya. In fact, he wasn't even sure he owned as much as he apparently did. Well, he's going to have to go through all the boxes anyway. He'll just set up a donate box for everything he no longer needs. Maybe he'll even ask if anyone he knows wants anything of his.

Finding all the pieces of his bed set are hard enough to turn the one-hour deadline into a three-hour project. The only easy part of the project was getting the mattress onto the bed frame he set up two weeks ago. Finding the sheets he owns was tough enough that he debated buying new ones at a local shop momentarily. It almost would've been easier.

In due time that small part of the house is set up, and he's on the phone with a local pizza parlor to place an order for delivery. He's not in the mood to make anything on his own, nor does he want to sit in a café and deal with people he'd rather not.

While he waits for the pizza to arrive, Tokiya walks out to the living room and faces the glass sliding doors that overlook the ocean. Sliding open one of them, he closes his eyes as the ocean breeze wafts over him.

He knows he's going to love his time here.

.

. . .

.

Tokiya shoves the remainder of his books into the top shelf in the bookcase he's placed in the living room. It's the final touch to his new home, and he's exhausted from setting it up the past three days. There are groceries now in his fridge, all the furniture is placed exactly where he wants it, and there are no more boxes left to unpack. All he has to do is deal with the one bigger box filled with belongings he's determined to be unnecessary, but he'll handle it some other day. It's still only the early afternoon, and he has yet to explore any part of the city.

Slipping on a pair of casual sneakers, he grabs a light sweater and his wallet and heads out of his house, locking the door behind him. For a moment, he stares up at his house, finding it hard to believe that it's actually a place he can call his own. He knows he'll have to find a job out here soon, but for now, he notices that he's the most relaxed he's ever been. It's incredible how big of a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

With a gentle smile, he parts from his house and begins walking. Reaching for his phone in his pocket, he pulls up an online map to navigate the streets. It doesn't take too long for him to finally find a small café. It looks plenty inviting with it's open windows and antique furniture. He has a feeling he's going to find himself coming here every so often.

As Tokiya pushes open the door, a bell signaling he's entered rings. There aren't too many people hanging out in it, which gives him the idea that the neighborhood is going to be rather quiet. It's the complete opposite of the city life he lived before, and so far it's been exactly what he's wanted from it. It's perfect.

He settles for a table closest to the entrance and picks up the menu lying on the table. He breathes in the fresh air climbing in through the open windows and relaxes in the chair he's in. Maybe he'll take up writing while he's here. Or he could go back to writing music. He hasn't done that in quite a bit of time, and he remembers thoroughly enjoying it. He certainly has the space and time for it again.

"Can I take your order?"

Tokiya snaps out of the reverie he had falling in and looks up at the waiter talking to him. He's surprised by how genuinely handsome the man is. He's rather tall, Tokiya suspects moreso than himself, with tanned skin from the sun and ginger hair pulled back into a loose ponytail while his longer bangs hang just below his right eye. He's also fascinated with the bright color blue his eyes are and the one piercing he has in his right ear.

The waiter chuckles at his apparent gaping. Tokiya has to fight the dark blush of embarrassment that creeps onto his face. "You must be new around here. I don't believe I've seen you before. I would've remembered someone as handsome as you."

Tokiya tries not to combust as the waiter winks at him. He wonders if that's maybe the other man's game. Keeping that thought in mind, he pulls his eyes away and tries to focus back on the menu in his hands. "I just moved in a few days ago."

"Oh! So you're the new owner down the street from here. Everyone's been talking about who was going to take the property. Welcome to the community." The waiter smiles brightly at him.

Focusing on the menu has proven to be incredibly difficult as all Tokiya can do is stare in awe at him. He doesn't seem like someone who would live in this small section of the city. He feels as though he's being pranked. "Er... Thank you."

The waiter laughs again and pulls out a small notepad and a pen. "What can I get you, newbie?"

"What do you recommend?" He's a sensible man, but it seems as though that part of him has disappeared temporarily.

"There's a shrine that most visitors tend to go see first when they arrive there. However, most people hang out on the shores, taking walks on the beaches or through the parks nearby. I personally enjoy walking through the sand, though. The decision is all yours, though."

Tokiya huffs as he looks over the menu, the embarrassment still evident on his face. "I'll take a  _ hire katsu  _ sandwich."

The waiter seems to share in his amusement. "Beef or pork?"

"Beef, please." Tokya settles the menu back on the table.

"Sounds good. I'll be back soon, so don't miss me too much."

Tokiya's sure his jaw is on the floor as he watches Ren disappear, shoulders shaking as he turns the corner into the kitchen clearly laughing. He can't tell if he should be annoyed or flattered.

Tokiya shakes his head, trying to rid his mind of the ridiculousness. However, it doesn't take much effort from himself as a couple from the next table over begin yelling at one another. Tokiya only listens for a moment before glancing back down at his menu, doing his best to ignore them. They remind him of his parents when he was much younger.

When his parents were still together, they used to fight all the time. Tokiya found it difficult to be around all the time, but there was nothing he could do about it. Even when his drunkard of a father left him and his mother, his mother took out all of her anger on him. When he was finally able to leave his parents, he never looked back. He stayed with a friend before he moved in with Otoya all those years ago.

But he's away from all of it. He's vowed to never be like either of them and so far he's kept his promise. Taking a deep breath, Tokiya refocuses himself. He can finally enjoy his time alone, and he doesn't want to waste it on memories of the past.

"One  _ hire katsu  _ beef sandwich and a water. Talking to you was so incredibly distracting that I forgot to ask what you wanted to drink. Do you want anything different or is this alright, Mr...?" The waiter drags out the last part, clearly hoping to get that information out of Tokiya.

Tokiya willingly obliges. It helps distract himself from his own mind. "Tokiya Ichinose. Thank you, and I'm sorry I suppose."

The waiter laughs as he places the dishes in front of him. "I should apologize for letting myself get distracted, but it's a pleasure to meet you, Tokiya. I'm Ren. If you need a tour guide, I'd happily be your eyes and ears around this place." Ren gives him a quick wink.

Tokiya stutters over himself, struggling to find any words to say. "I... uh... thank you?"

"I'll take that as a yes. I get off my shift in an hour. Feel free to stick around until then." Ren stalks off without letting Tokiya give an answer.

Tokiya doesn't have to stay, but he can't find a reason not to. It's not as though he has anything else to do today. Waiting out the time, Tokiya drags out his meal as he browses through his phone for nearby jobs. Job hunting doesn't take long before it wears Tokiya out. He opts for mindless browsing as he waits instead.

"My apologies. Cleaning up the counters took up more time than I thought. You'd be surprised how messy some people can be. Now," Ren unwraps the apron around his waist, "I believe I promised you a tour?"

"It would seem so." Tokiya smiles at him. He didn't even notice Ren had taken his dishes. "What did you have in mind for the agenda?"

Ren leans forward and holds a hand out for him. "Well I've been inside all day, so I'm thinking the beach first. I have a feeling you haven't walked along it yet."

"You've got me. I live by the ocean, and I haven't done so yet." Tokiya hesitates on the offered hand, but he gives in.

Ren helps him up from the table and releases once he's up. Tokiya tries not to think about what would've happened if he lingered in the touch. "The ocean it is. I'll be leaving myself in your care then."

Ren smiles as he leads him towards the door, dropping his apron off on a hook by the entrance. "No time to waste then. Let's go! I know exactly where we should start."

Tokiya lets Ren drag him around the city. They slip into easy conversation that Ren keeps consistent the whole time and Tokya lets himself relax into it. It's his third day here, and dare he say he's finally made a friend. He's excited to finally converse with someone here, and he didn't realize he needed it. It's been incredibly silent in his house save for the page flips of his books.

Ren starts at the beach like he had promised, giving him the complete rundown of all the best times to visit when there's hardly anyone else on it. Ren then goes on to show him where there's a hidden cave farther down the shoreline. From there, he moves on to the streets, showing him all the best spots to hang out in. When Tokiya asks where to find the closest bookstore, Ren's quick to give him an answer and lead the way. The day is perfect and ends with them taking one last stroll along the water's edge close by Tokiya's house.

Ren kicks the curls of the waves towards Tokiya's feet. Tokiya arches a playful eyebrow as he retaliates. It turns into a battle in the ocean that leaves them both soaked entirely, but neither seem bothered in the slightest. Tokiya can't remember the last time he's had nearly this much fun.

"I think it's about time I head in for the night." Tokiya wrings the ocean water out of the end of his dress shirt. The sun's setting, and he's not sure how far away Ren lives. In fact... "This may be a bit presumptuous of me, but you could clean off at my house if you'd like. Of course, you don't have to accept. I wouldn't want to-"

"How kind of you, Icchi. Ah, sorry. I usually give everyone nicknames. Is it too much?" Ren winces at his own words.

Tokiya hurries to reassure him. "It's much better than the nickname I've received from everyone else I know."

Ren's quick to bounce back. "Oh? And what could that possibly be?"

Tokiya scoffs at it before he even says it. He never liked the nickname, but he did condone it for the sake of his friends. "Tokki. I found it to be quite unpleasant."

Ren laughs in response. "I think it's adorable, but I do have a preference for the one I've come up with. I'm quite biased, though."

Tokiya rolls his eyes. " _ I  _ enjoy it more, and I'm pretty unbiased."

"I'll take you up on your offer if it still stands." Ren digs his hands into his pockets, a grin still settled on his lips. "If that's alright with you, Icchi?"

A similar grin settles on Tokiya's own lips. "It does. It's the least I can do for you after all that you've done for me all day long."

They pass easy conversation along between the both of them as Tokiya leads the way back to his house. He doesn't even realize how nervous he must be until he sees his own hand shaking as he pulls out the key to his house. Although, he can't figure out why he would be nervous to begin with. There's no reason for him to shake as much as he is. It's not as if anything is going to happen. He slides the key into the lock and stops turning once he hears the click. Pushing the door open, he walks in first, flicking the lights on as he enters. Ren slides into step behind him, gazing around the open space.

It may be small, but Tokiya was proud of the way he opened up the space. Once you enter, there's a kitchen set with a bar counter that opens up into the living area. Off of the living room to the left is a smaller room that Tokiya has yet to fill but holds a bathroom in the corner of it. The bedroom is set upstairs off to the left while the bathroom rests off to the right. It's small but he's made it cozy.

"Did you decorate it yourself?"

Tokiya watches as Ren walks further into the house, letting his fingers graze over the surface of the bar countertop. "It's still pretty empty, but yes, I did. I was looking to repaint the walls, but I've covered so much ground the last few days that I stopped for the time being."

"I love it." Ren pauses in front of the glass sliding doors that overlook the ocean. "You have such a great view as well. I'm jealous." Ren spins around to offer Tokiya another of his smiles until his face freezes. "I'm getting water and sand all over your floor. I'm so sorry."

Tokiya laughs and shakes his head. "Don't trouble yourself with that. Let me show you to the shower." It's only when Tokiya begins leading him upstairs that he realizes Ren is going to need something to change into. His own are hardly ideal as Ren is taller than him enough where his own clothes would be a tad bit short. The other issue he's finding is that they've really only known each other for a few hours. Would that be crossing the line?

He controls his panicking as he shows him where the shower is and hands him one of his towels to use. Only he needs to talk to him about that aspect, but he finds himself hoping that Ren comes up with a solution himself.

"I appreciate it, Icchi. Really, I do. We hardly know each other, yet you've been so kind to me." Ren grins at him one last time before entering the bathroom.

"Wait!"

Ren freezes before he shuts the door.

Now he has to talk.  _ Great. _ "I... I can give you a spare set of clothes to wear temporarily while I wash the clothes you're wearing now."

Ren seems surprised at the gesture, and Tokiya immediately readies himself to think of an excuse. He's taken aback when Ren does the complete opposite of what Tokiya thinks he should.

"I'd hate to trouble you, but if you insist..."

Tokiya almost short circuits.  _ Almost _ . "Of course! Yes. Give me a moment. I'll be right back." It's only until their clothes are done being cleaned. It's still early, so Ren should be heading home before it gets dark out. He can't possibly allow him to stay any later than that. He tries to walk as casually as he can back to his room before digging into his dresser. He hopes the drawstring sweatpants and loose fitting shirt he's chosen works for Ren.

He rushes back to the bathroom to hand them over to Ren. "Please tell me if they don't work for you."

Ren laughs as he takes the clothes from Tokiya's hands, his fingers linger over Tokiya's ever so briefly. "I'm sure they'll be perfect."

Tokiya sighs when Ren retreats into the shower and finally hears the water start. He walks back to his own room and starts preparing his own clothes for his shower whenever Ren is done. It doesn't take too long until the bathroom door opens once more. Tokiya is once again left speechless.

Ren walks out with one of his towels wrapped around the ends of his hair and Tokiya's sweatpants sitting right at his waist. Tokiya finds himself having an unbelievably hard time not staring as he passes the other to get into the bathroom. He doesn't officially calm down until he's already thrown Ren's clothes in the wash and heading downstairs. Only he forgets that Ren is still in the house, and the sight that greets him downstairs has him spiraling again.

Ren is standing in his kitchen, frying pan in one hand and cooking chopsticks in the other. Tokiya can hardly understand how someone like Ren actually exists.

"Ah, you're finally out. I wanted to repay you for everything, and I figured this was the best way to do it. Is that alright with you?"

Tokiya can't reach for any words, so he opts for nodding his head instead.

Ren laughs at his reaction and focuses back on what he's cooking. "I'm almost done if you want to hang out nearby."

Tokiya watches in awe from the couch in his living room as Ren masterfully flips the ingredients he has in the pan. Then an embarrassing thought comes to him. It's only been three days, but this is the coziest his house has been. It's stupid of him to think that the presence of a stranger can change anything, but he thinks he may miss having someone else living with him. He hasn't thought anything close to that since now, so it only makes the most sense that someone else's presence in the house is the reason for it. He's sure that's the only reason for it.

"Alright! I tried not to take up too many of your groceries, so I stuck with a simple  _ yaki udon _ ." Ren separates the contents of the pan onto two plates that he fishes out of the cabinets and makes his way over to Tokiya, handing him one of the plates and a set of chopsticks. "I hope it's to your liking."

Tokiya can't imagine that it wouldn't be. He takes the place and balances it on his lap, picking up the chopsticks and scooping a small bit of the noodles and vegetables into his mouth. Ren sits down next to him with his own plate but waits for Tokiya to make a comment on the dish before enjoying it himself.

The two of them engage in a simple and mindless conversation until the meal is over. Despite Tokiya's persistence, Ren takes the dishes to the sink and washes them off before taking up his spot on the couch again.

"Tell me, Icchi," Ren props his right arm up on the back of the couch, "what made you move out here?"

Tokiya crosses his legs and leans back into the cushions. He wonders how much he could tell Ren without it all being too much, so instead of worrying about it he decides to go with a simplified version. "I wanted a change of scenery."

Ren hums as he thinks about his answer. "Where'd you live before? Was it a big change?"

Tokiya laughs nervously. "Quite. I lived in Tokyo."

Ren's eyes widen exponentially. "That  _ is  _ different. Did something happen, or did you just suddenly decide it wasn't for you?"

Tokiya glances down at his fingers, intertwining them before releasing them repeating the action over and over. "I was tired of sitting in one place. Every day was exactly the same for so many years. I think I needed the fresh breath of air this place has."

"Well, then I'm glad I could welcome you here. This community can be quite large, but everyone knows each other and talks as if we're all family. If you ever get sick of the ocean, you could always go farther into the city, too. There's something for everyone here." Ren turns his body, so he's fully facing Tokiya now.

"If you don't mind me asking," Tokiya does the same, shifting so he's turned towards Ren, "how long have you been here? Do you really like it here?"

Tokiya's sure he couldn't ever get sick of Ren's laugh, enjoying the way his hearty chuckle fills the space around them easing any tension. "You've figured me out. I hate this place. I'm dreadfully bored  _ every  _ day." Ren slumps on the couch as he dramatically throws his arm over his eyes. "God, Tokiya, I don't know how much longer I have. Whatever can I  _ do. _ "

Tokiya laughs as Ren practically rolls on top of him. "I get it. I get it. I'm sorry. Are you always this dramatic?" He gives up trying to push the other off of him.

Ren rolls into a more comfortable position, but still most of his weight is put on Tokiya's left shoulder. "What can I say? I have a flair for the arts."

Tokiya is quick to roll his eyes. "As I'm sure you do."

They sit in silence, but Tokiya finds it to be more comfortable than anything else. He's not entirely sure how much time passes either, but he flinches at the sound of the washing machine upstairs going off. He didn't realize how comfortable he had truly gotten until Ren slides off of him, leaving his side cold from the air that's settled around them. Frowning, he adjusts his posture on the couch to better fit the new position. He goes to stand up to get Ren's clothes, but Ren already has him beat.

"I'll get it. You've already done so much for me." Ren smiles as he makes his way up the stairs and to the closet his washer and dryer are settled into.

Tokiya knows he's making a mistake. They're  _ hardly  _ friends. Tokiya has spent the day with a stranger, even invited him into his own house. This is how every horror movie starts. It's how failed relationships of any sort begin. He's walking into a trap that he seems to have set up for himself.

"I put my clothes in for a short drying cycle. I shouldn't stay for too much longer seeing as I still have work in the morning."

Tokiya can hear him walking down the stairs, but he doesn't make a move to turn around. He'll politely wait until then and casually escort him out. He won't be rude because frankly he doesn't think he could be even if he wanted to. Ren is too nice for him to just blatantly ignore or be curt with. He can't push him away, but he has to set boundaries that otherwise seem invisible or nonexistent.

When Ren lounges back on his back, Tokiya does his best to ignore the very obvious fact that Ren is still wearing his clothes for the time being. Abruptly, he stands up and walks over to the kitchen to turn the coffee maker on. Distracting himself will work millions of times better than hoping his mind can ignore the obvious.

Ren takes the movement as an invitation and gets up from the couch to lean against the bar counter instead, watching Tokiya as he pulls out a mug for himself. "I'd love to ask for a cup, but it's too bad that I can't." He chuckles, but it isn't like his others. It's as if he's waiting for Tokiya to say something about his words or hand him an invitation he knows he can't.

Tokiya's index finger digs into the palm of his hand. It's an old habit he's discovered is hard to rid himself of, but it's a helpful one that feels grounding. "That is too bad." There's no malice, but his words are empty. They have to be. He pretends to not notice the pout Ren is now wearing.

"Ah, I see you have a lot of books around here. You weren't kidding when you told me you liked reading earlier." Ren releases another half-hearted chuckle, one that Tokiya pretends to mimic on his own.

"I'll have to visit that bookstore you showed me sometime. I've read all the books I own here at least twice." Tokiya stares at the bookshelf as he makes a mental note on going there sometime.

Ren whistles as he follows Tokiya's eyesight to the shelf. "You should lend me one of your favorites sometime. I'd be curious to see what genre you prefer over the rest."

Tokiya hums in agreement, but he doesn't say anything else on the topic.

"Icchi, can I be frank with you?"

Tokiya is hoping he won't be. "If you'd like."

"I know we've only known each other for a few hours." Ren sucks in a deep breath, beginning to move from around the bar counter towards Tokiya. "You may find it presumptuous of me, but I think I'm-"

Tokiya isn't sure what god he's pleased in life, but the sound of the dryer's completed cycle rings throughout the house. He breathes a sigh of relief when Ren stops in his tracks. He hadn't even realized how hard he was clenching his fists.

Ren takes a few steps back and grins sheepishly at Tokiya. "I should get that, huh?" He doesn't wait for Tokiya to respond, instead he just turns around and makes his way upstairs.

Tokiya falls back against the kitchen counter using his hands to stop himself from collapsing to the ground entirely. He knows  _ exactly  _ what Ren was going to say because it's exactly what he wants to say himself. Not yet. Not now. He only just set up his life again. He can't go back to throwing it all away for nothing. What would he do if something went wrong? What happens when they fall out exactly like his parents did? Even his friends back home had trouble finding anything that held any meaning.

Arm's length. He can hold Ren at an arm's length. He'll be avoiding disappointment, while keeping a friend by his side while he's here.

Tokiya releases his death grip on the counter to pour himself a mug of coffee. Going off of the day he's having, he knows he's going to need as much as he can get out of this pot.

"If you don't mind, I'll take the clothes you lent me home. I promise to return them after I've cleaned them." Ren comes down the stairs with the sweatpants he had on moments before folded neatly in his arms. He's back to wearing the clothes he had on earlier again. Tokiya's grateful for it.

"You don't have to." Tokiya holds the mug of coffee between his hands, using the heat from it as a way to ground himself.

"I insist." Ren pauses as he walks to the kitchen, staring at Tokiya for a long moment before speaking again. "I genuinely had fun today, Tokiya. I hope you'll consider doing this again sometime."

There are thousands of thoughts running through his mind, but he keeps them under control. "Of course. I... had fun as well."

"Well then..." Ren gives him one last smile before exiting his house.

Tokiya doesn't visibly relax until he finally hears the door shut behind himself on the way out. He sets the mug back down on the counter and sighs as he brings a hand up to his forehead. He slumps to the floor of the kitchen, lost emotionally as to what he should do.

"I'm an idiot..."


	2. You Are The Best Thing

It's only been three days since Tokiya hung out with Ren, but during those few days, he hasn't seen the other once. He could tell himself he's been busy dealing with housing issues at his new place such as the leak that occurred in the pipes two days ago. However, he knows that would just be an excuse.

Tokiya is sitting out on the deck attached to his house that overlooks the sea, pen tapping against the rightmost corner of a smaller notebook. He's trying his best to forget about everything that happened between him and Ren - if there was anything there to begin with - by avoiding any signs of him and the café.

Theoretically, he knows this isn't the way to go about it, but it's the only way he can think of right now. He had thought that writing music again could help, but the only lyrics he's been able to write are all about longing. _ It's incredibly pathetic. _

Tossing his notebook and pen aside in frustration, Tokiya stands up abruptly from the flimsy outdoor chair and pushes aside the sliding door. Grabbing his coat and slipping his shoes on, Tokiya heads out for the one place he apparently can't seem to escape.

Ren may not even be there. He could be exaggerating the whole situation and blowing the entire thing out of proportion. He doesn't even know what Ren was going to say. Though, anything beginning with the words ``we've only known each other for a few hours but..." lead down a path of friendship. Even he isn't stupid enough to not see that. What he felt that day with Ren was what he'd like to think of as real, and it was clear that Ren felt some type of way about it. He should've asked Ren what he was going to say. He should've...

But then again it's for the better they went their separate ways. Like Ren said, it had only been a few hours. You can hardly develop a friendship in that amount of time. Hell, his parents couldn't stop yelling at each other for that period of time even if they wanted to.

Tokiya stops himself before he can open the front door. "Ridiculous..." He grits his teeth before throwing the door open and walking out. After hearing the  _ click  _ of the door lock, Tokiya storms off in the direction of the café.

He can't keep up this back and forth forever. If he's going to find an answer then he's going to the source of his struggle. Just because he's seen relationships fail around him doesn't mean they have to define his own.

But he also doesn't want it to end. There's always an ending to every relationship. Of course it's up to the people involved, but from what he's discovered over the years, someone always ends up hurt. Does he really want to risk hurting anyone? No. They'll be friends. He can do that. He's been friends with Otoya for years. Friendship with Ren is very achievable. He'll have to make it that way.

Determined to make this work, Tokiya continues to the café. He won't let himself think until he gets there. If Ren isn't there then he'll walk away with at least this mindset. If he is there... well, then he'll figure it out when he gets to that point.

The walk to the café is much shorter than he remembered, but then again he only got here on accident the last time. He takes a deep breath as he stands outside the café, hesitating only a bit as he stares at the wooden door. He can do this. He  _ can  _ do this. He exhales as he pushes it open, eyes settling on the charming atmosphere he clearly remembers.

He sinks down at the table he sat in before, focusing on the scenery outside the floor-to-ceiling windows as he tries to settle his overworking mind.

"You're back."

Tokiya turns his head faster than he means to at the sound of the all too familiar voice.

"I thought I had scared you off." Ren's laughter chimes through his ears as he passes Tokiya a menu.

Tokiya laughs nervously as he accepts the menu from him. "Hardly."

"What have you been up to? Are you enjoying the town?"

Tokiya curses himself for staring at Ren as long as he has. He glances down at the menu, trying his best to keep his eyes focused on the words in front of him. "I've been dealing with a few home repairs, so I haven't gone out much."

"You haven't? I was sure you'd at least walk the beach a few more times after how much you enjoyed it the last time." Ren places a hand loosely on his waist, throwing a questioning glance at Tokiya.

Tokiya can't stop himself from sneaking glances up at Ren, though regretting it as soon as he does.  _ Stay focused.  _ "I've been enjoying it from my deck. The breeze feels nice."

Ren nods as he pulls out a small notepad and pen. "With a view like that, I don't blame you. I wish I lived closer to the sea. My apartment is a little ways inland from here. Disappointing, really." Ren laughs again.

Tokiya tries not to think of how it chimes throughout the small café. "I'm surprised you don't." He can't stop himself from glancing up at Ren.

"One day I plan on moving, but for now, I don't mind where I live. If you aren't busy, I could show you after my shift?"

He should say no. He knows he should since that would be the smart decision. Though, he's not sure why he can't follow any reason when it comes to Ren. "I have a bit of time to spare before I need to take care of anything at my place."

Ren visibly brightens. "Great! I promise I won't be much longer. I've been here since the morning, so they won't mind if I leave a bit early." Tokiya tries to ignore the wink Ren gives him. "I can even walk you back after seeing as you probably won't remember the path back."

Tokiya finds himself sharing Ren's infectious smile, brightening himself as well. "I'd appreciate that. Thank you."

Ren scoffs, laughter still sitting in his experience. "It's the least I can do for you. I'll be back." Ren spins to leave only to stop himself before he walks away, turning back towards Tokiya. "I'm sorry! You came here to eat, didn't you? What can I get you? I'll get it quick, so you won't have to wait too long for me."

If only he actually did come here to eat. "Can I just get a coffee? I'm really not that hungry."

Ren winks at him before snapping his fingers. "On the double." Ren dashes off without looking back.

Tokiya all but collapses when Ren disappears from his sight, keeping the menu in front of him to act as a makeshift shield to hide his blush. It's embarrassing how easily his words are stolen from him with such nonchalant gestures from Ren. He should find it incredibly annoying how everything Ren does flusters him only he can't.

He needs to keep himself focused. They're friends. He doesn't want to ruin the first decent connection he's made here, and he's persistent like his mind seems to be, then he'll just run Ren away from him. He can't let that happen no matter what.

"Your coffee, kind sir." Ren bows as he returns with a single coffee cup placed in the center of an otherwise empty tray.

The presentation is extra beyond belief, and Tokiya finds himself stifling a laugh as he drops the menu to the table. The absurd theatrics pull the hesitation from his mind and remind himself that he needs to relax. He's new to the community, and Ren is trying his best to welcome him in a manner he's clearly used to. Tokiya needs to learn to appreciate the moments like these. There's no reason to dwell on moments left far behind in the past.

"Thank you, Ren." The coffee is piping hot, but Tokiya welcomes the burn as he takes a sip from it. An odd look makes its way onto his face when he notices Ren still staring at him. "Is there something wrong?"

"How does it taste?" Ren seems to lean forward where he's standing.

Tokiya wonders if he has any other customers to handle. There are a decent number of people hanging out in the café, so he can't possibly be free at this moment. Ren stands unwavering whether that's true or not. "It's a well-made coffee."

Ren sighs and straightens his back. "I see. I'll have to try harder. You can tell me all about what kind of coffee you prefer once we get to my place. I have my own machines set up to make coffee myself. I'll come back once I've gotten the O.K to leave." Ren smiles as he walks away from the table and towards someone else's.

Tokiya watches how he talks with the customers. He won't admit that he's staring, but rather collecting useful information to see what he's like around others. It's easy to see that Ren is quick at making friends and conversation flows so easily from him. Ren's also quite popular, Tokiya discovers. Even the few customers in the shop know exactly who he is, but that could also be due to the close knit community they're all living in. He figures it must be hard to forget someone if there's only so many of you walking around the same places all the time.

Tokiya pulls out his phone, planning to busy himself by answering Otoya's text messages while he waits for Ren. Not that he's meant to, but he's accidentally ignored Otoya's messages the past few days since he last sent Tokiya well wishes. He gives Otoya a quick update on the new house and the area he lives in before directing his attention back to the coffee in front of him.

As Ren had promised, he returns within mere minutes. The apron around his waist is gone, and a sling backpack is draped over one shoulder. It's only now that Tokiya notices how casual he dresses for work. If he even tried to wear clothes like that with as many buttons popped at the top as Ren has to the last job he worked, he would've gotten in trouble. Companies in Tokyo were much stricter with dress codes. It's a small difference he's noticed during his time here in Fukuoka. Everyone seems to breathe easy.

"I could let you stare all day, or if you want, we can actually leave now."

Tokiya snaps out of it, a dark blush staining his cheeks as he quickly stands up. "I'm sorry!"

Ren laughs again and begins to lead the way out of the café. Tokiya starts to follow him but stops in his tracks when an important thought comes to him. "I have to pay for my coffee first." Now that he thinks about it, did he even pay for his meal the last time he was here?

Ren waves his hand from over his shoulder as he pushes the door open, the bell hanging above it jingling lightly in the breeze. "Don't worry about it. I took care of it."

He really does owe him then. Ren must've taken care of his meal the last time as well then. Gripping the cup tighter in his hands, Tokiya sighs and starts walking again.

Ren doesn't say anything as they begin walking in what Tokiya thinks must be the direction to the apartment he talked about. There's nothing unsettling about the silence, but Tokiya is curious as to why Ren won't say anything. The last time they walked beside each other, Ren always seemed to come up with a new question or topic to discuss, but now he silently whistles under his breath as a smile settles on his face. Tokiya doesn't think to start a conversation himself, instead enjoying the moment for what it is rather than what it could be.

It's a bit of a ways off from the café as Ren had said it would be, but it's not enough to be an unacceptable walk. It's clear that Ren's working there for the view of the sea it offers him. He wonders why Ren seems to be so attached to the shoreline, but it would be invasive of him to ask. Friends. They are  _ friends. _

"This is it." Ren nods his head in the direction of an apartment complex painted light blue that reaches a good few stories tall. "I'm on the sixth floor."

Tokiya stares up at the building as he follows, his mind already trying to imagine the room before he sees it for himself. He wonders if Ren has one of the balconies that oversees the water. The same question of why he holds a fascination with the sea floats back into his memory as they walk through the entrance of the complex and towards the elevators. They sit in silence as a shaft brings them up to Ren's floor.

Ren leads them down a hallway before stopping in front of a door located at the end. He fishes for the keys before jamming them into the lock and opening the door. "It's a bit small, but I find it to be rather cozy."

Tokiya gulps, though he's not sure, and pauses in front of the door. He waits for Ren to take his shoes off and slip into slippers as he walks farther into the space. Tokiya slips his shoes off and takes a step up into the space after him. The apartment is exactly what he would've expected.

The entrance hallway is small but short with a closet off to the left and a door that he assumes leads to a bathroom on his right. When he walks past the entrance, there's a small kitchenette off to the right with an island set up to face the living room. There's another door to the left that Tokiya assumes is a bedroom. It's a cozier version of his own house, only Ren's place takes on darker tones with dark grey furniture and black tables. It's clear that it represents Ren's more mature side with its modern look.

As he had expected, there's a balcony off of the living room. Tokiya finds himself gravitating towards it, passing the couch that Ren's taken up to slide the balcony door open. A breeze flutters the curtains around the sliding door and windows as soon as the door is pushed open. Tokiya has to reach up to stop his bangs from flipping into his eyes.

The view is breathtaking. They had walked up a hill to get to the apartment, but he hadn't realized just how big it was. It hardly seemed like anything when they were walking. From where he stands, all the buildings in the area seem to cascade down the hill leading to where the shoreline against the sea sits. Compared to the up-close view of the sea his house has, this view feels like it should be nostalgic for him if he had any memories he could tie to the sea. His house makes the sea take on a lonely presence. Here, it feels warm and welcoming. It's exactly like Ren.

"What drew you to the sea?"

Tokiya is startled out of his thoughts by the sound of Ren's voice. He hadn't expected to hear the question he had been asking himself all day out loud, moreso for it to be directed to himself.

"I'm not sure." It's the truth. He doesn't know what brought him here. When he finally settled on leaving, he felt a pull to be here. The house so happened to be available at the right time for him. "Why are you here?"

Tokiya had turned around, so he missed the saddened expression Ren adorns for only a moment. It vanishes as quickly as it had appeared, and in its place rests a gentle smile. "I wanted to gain something I had lost."

Though he can't see it, he can hear how much different the words are from the usual way he speaks. Tokiya stays silent as he walks farther onto the balcony, leaning against the railing that guards it.

"I thought that if I left I could discover what exactly I was missing."

Tokiya tries to focus his eyes on the waves overlapping over each other in the distance. "Did you find whatever it was you were looking for?"

"I think so." The smile is apparent through Ren's words, and they flow as easily as the waves do over the shore.

Tokiya wonders how long he's been waiting to answer that question if only for himself, yet here he was answering it for a stranger. He wants to ask what it is, but it's too intrusive. He's invaded enough of Ren's life already.

"Would you care to know what it is?"

Tokiya can hear the fabric shift from the couch and the shuffle of Ren's slippers as he gets up from the couch and walks up to the balcony. Tokiya keeps his attention on the waves. He'll waver if he looks at Ren now. His mind needs to stay as clear as the sky above them if he wants to avoid saying something he'll regret later. "You don't have to tell me."

"What if I want to?" Ren leans his elbows against the railing next to Tokiya, his gaze following Tokiya's own towards the sea. "What if I was hoping you'd ask?"

Tokiya lets his eyes fall shut.  _ Control.  _ He can do this. "Why would you want to tell me? I'm sure you know people you'd be more willing to share this with."

Ren laughs, only it sounds almost as if he's in pain. "You'd be surprised. Besides, isn't it only fair to ask the person directly involved for their permission?"

He is surprised. Tokiya opens his eyes and glances at Ren from his peripheral vision, not allowing himself to stare completely at him. "Permission for what?"

"Tokiya," Ren shifts so his body is facing him, "you can disregard everything I say or you can accept it for what it is. Frankly, I prefer the second choice, but I'd rather you be happy no matter what."

"I don't believe I'm following your words. Have I done something wrong?" Tokiya doesn't stop himself from facing Ren now. "I'd prefer you be outright with me if that's the case." His back straightens by habit, preparing himself for the worst.  _ What happened to control? _

"I wonder if you'll hate me..."

Tokiya's not sure what to make of his words. His eyebrows furrow as he stares at Ren, who seems to be searching him for the answer to the question he has yet to ask. Tokiya stares back, trying to figure out the silent conversation Ren has now started between them.

He's not sure who made the first move, and he can't really figure out why or how it's come to this. His mind is dizzy with a new haze as Ren's lips navigate his own, arms steadying Tokiya's own shaky grasp on the balcony railing. He lets Ren lead as his body molds against his, forgoing any sense of control he thought he could have. His efforts all seem absurd now.

Though finding himself unwilling to do so, Tokiya is the first to pull away from the kiss, his inability to breathe being the main reason for the departure. Ren gives him space to breathe but only slides his hands from Tokiya's arms to his waist instead, keeping his hands on him in some way. Tokiya is grateful because he's sure he wouldn't be able to stand on his own.

"I... I'd understand if you wanted to leave."

Tokiya is baffled by Ren's words. He's not sure where they came from, but he's also not sure how he should answer. A part of him wants to run as fast as possible, but another wants to embrace this and see where it goes. His mind is spinning beyond what he can handle right now, so he's surprised that Ren is able to calmly carry on a conversation.

"I don't think I can."

Ren chuckles in response, letting his head fall against Tokiya's shoulder. "You make it sound like I'm forcing you to stay."

Tokiya hangs his head backwards, trying to make sense of the mess his mind has become. "That's not... I'm sorry. I'm not quite sure what I mean right now."

"I didn't mean to bring you here for this... I had meant to actually talk. So much for that." Ren laughs against his shoulder, swaying the both of them as they stand pressed against each other.

Tokiya lets Ren continue with the motion because it's actually grounding. It may not help him think any clearer, but it sure as hell is giving him something to fathom right now. "Why me?" Tokiya cringes at himself for even speaking those words, but he can't help it. He doesn't understand. They've only really known each other for maybe five hours? It doesn't make any sense to him at all.

"I suppose if you aren't running, then nothing I say now could possibly chase you away." Ren laughs again.

Tokiya huffs out a short breath. "Not unless you're about to tell me you're dying."

He regrets uttering those words almost as quickly as he says them because Ren, being as theatrical as he is, drops his full weight on Tokiya. Tokiya has to struggle to catch him before he hits the ground dead-on. "How did you know?! I only have a minute left to live. Please...  _ spare me _ ."

Tokiya rolls his eyes but can't stop the smile that appears on his lips. " _ Ren,  _ you're a full grown adult. I can't carry you like this."

"But there's  _ no time!  _ I... oh no... I can feel it. My time has come..."

" _ Ren.  _ Get up before I drop you."

Ren scrambles to catch his feet on the balcony, lifting himself off of Tokiya and makes a show of pretending to dust himself off. "You must be a miracle worker. I'm healed!"

Tokiya rolls his eyes again, crossing his arms over his chest. "Of course you are."

Ren let his laughter die out before turning serious again. "Tokiya, this is going to sound insane."

Tokiya thinks that he might be able to handle insane, though his heart is still hammering in his chest. He searches Ren's eyes before straightening up again. What could count as ridiculous to Ren's standards? Is he living inside of a novel? Is Ren actually nonexistent? Has he missed  _ something  _ that important? Could he have?

"The moment I saw you, I saw my whole life flash before my eyes.  _ Everything.  _ I saw the fights, the happiness, the laughter, the tears... all of it. I came to the sea to escape the reality that was always thrown at me. I came here not knowing why just like you. This is why I said it sounds insane because I want to chase those flashes of life I saw. I want to see all of them. Will you let me?"

Tokiya isn't even sure where to begin? He saw  _ their whole lives _ ? All of that? Weren't they supposed to just be friends? What if they end up like every other couple? What if they end up fighting all the time like his parents? What if... What if he  _ hurts  _ Ren? Can he really let himself get anywhere close to that? He doesn't think so, but the expression Ren is giving him makes him hesitate. "I'm broken."

"Then we'll both be broken."

"I... I could hurt you."

"Then I'll accept it."

"What if I give up?"

Ren reaches for one of Tokiya's hands, bringing it to his lips where he kisses it ever so gently. "Then I'll keep trying. Will you let me?"

Tokiya can't figure out how it's come to this at all. How did they get to this point? It's barely been a day... How could Ren trust him so easily? How is Ren so forgiving already? Tokiya stares into Ren's eyes, watching as the sun dances across his bright blue orbs. His eyes remind him of the sea on the brightest morning. He came here looking for the sea.

He thinks he's found it.

"Yes."


End file.
